Sex addiction is analyzed and broken down in a number of ways, but there is one simple way of understanding sex addiction that is not applied as often as it should. This view of sex addiction is that it represents an overly complicated sexuality where as healthy human sexuality is kept simple. This concept may seem overly simplified, but it is very useful in helping people wrap their heads around what sex addiction is. Comparing a food addiction to a sex addiction works very well in demonstrating this concept.
When someone is addicted to sex, their appetite for sex has grown huge. And rather than craving a small variety of sexual tastes, they crave many of them. This can easily be compared to unhealthy foods. Typically, people do not become fat by eating one thing over and over. They crave a variety of foods and then they indulge in them. We overeat because our brain chemicals tell us that it will satisfy our hunger, which is the same reason we indulge in excessive amounts and varieties of sex. But just like in the case of food, our appetites are only briefly quenched, then they come back more powerful than ever. A healthy sexuality knows how not to overindulge.
Food addiction and sex addiction can be compared in another sense: portion control and variety. A person who eats a healthy amount of food will naturally eat smaller portions and less food varieties than a person with a food addiction. A person with a healthy sexuality will not need sex as often or as varied as a person with a sex addiction. Sometimes limiting one’s self means that not every variation of something is tried. This does not mean that a person cannot have variety in their tastes. It just means they will be more selective and intelligent in their tastes. This translates directly to a person’s decisions about their sexuality.
Sex addiction is far more common than many people realize. Many people are addicted to sex and do not even realize it. They may consider sex a big part of their identity or believe they are just sexually liberated, but many of these people are, in fact, consumed in an addiction to some form of sex. The signs that you or someone you know are addicted to sex are as follows:
Overly flirtatious, wandering hands. Often, a sex addiction can be seen in a person’s non-verbal behavior. If they are too frequently flirting with people who are their type, or if they cannot seem to keep their hands to themselves, they are a likely candidate for a sex addiction.
Constant thoughts about sex. One can only judge this thought pattern in themselves, but it is a telling way of knowing whether or not you have a sex addiction. If thoughts about sex distract you from the rest of your life constantly, it is likely due to a sex addiction.
Excessive masturbation. If you need to masturbate frequently in order to stay even, and you become stressed out and hostile when you are unable, this could indicate a sex addiction. Many people think masturbation is unrelated to sex addiction, but a sex addiction can actually be nothing but excessive masturbation.
Anonymous sex and one night stands. When someone repeatedly has sex with anonymous partners and engages in risky sexual activities such as one night stands, they are displaying signs of being addicted to sex.
Secretive behavior, caught lying. Any time a person is caught lying or is clearly keeping secrets, it is a strong indication that they are hiding an addiction of some sort. This sign occurring in conjunction with any other signs in this list strongly point toward a sex addiction.
Another person’s scent or make up. Anyone caught repeatedly with tells of engaging in sexual activity, such as make up on a man’s collar or the smell of a man’s cologne on a woman’s clothes, should be confronted about their possible sexual addiction.